Here’s another video from the Blue Period. As you can see, I forgot to turn on the light. Oh well, the axe sounds pretty good through the camera mic.
vanilla ice and me
I was just reading about Rob Parissi, the Wild Cherry frontman who wrote “Play That Funky Music”:
“Play That Funky Music” was sampled by Vanilla Ice in 1990 (for which Parissi was not credited; he later won $500,000 in a copyright infringement lawsuit)…
Now they tell me. I could have written a song for Vanilla Ice to illegally sample. Instead I chose to do my own cover of “Play That Funky Music”. What can I say? I love that song!
Lucky for me, I’ve got friends like Doug Fergus. Doug plays a mean bass, and he’s been promoting his new act, Naked in Public. Somehow Doug got in touch with Rob Parissi, and told him there’s this guy who does a ukulele cover of “Play That Funky Music”. Parissi was intrigued and asked to see any available video.
What the heck. A fellow could do lots worse than to have Vanilla Ice’s problems. Rob Parissi? Don’t mind if I do!
terminated
One of the cool things about being a rock star is, you get to spend time with interesting people. For instance, the other day I was hanging out with the former governor of California, Arnold Schwarzenegger. We were just sitting around in the living room and he said, “plo chops for all!” Then he sat back with a big dopey grin on his face.
Nothing happened. I started to wonder if there was something I was supposed to do. Finally I said, “hey Arnie, how about a game of chess?”
Arnold Schwarzenegger kind of deflated, with a guttural sigh of weariness. “I prefer to play checkers. I’ll be black.“
I’m going to be on television
Women look at me funny all the time. Like, the first time I climbed the north face of the Eiger wearing hockey skates, there was this blond chick in a dirndl and she said “deine lederhosen ist rauchnung”. I was like, “lady, these aren’t MY lederhosen. I’m just wearing these as a favor to a friend. MY lederhosen are a TOTALLY different deal!” But then I noticed she was looking at me funny. What’s up with that?
check out how the sink isn’t even connected to anything
I was innocently surfing around and I found all these pictures of naked women:
Oksana Makar, femen activist
Okay, she’s not naked, but that’s okay because other women in that slideshow are, and some of them are not bad-looking at all. They get naked at international street protests, trying to draw media attention to issues that matter. Which, as far as I’m concerned, is worth a try. If the naked women fail, we’ll attack with snipers. And if that doesn’t work, naked snipers.
Anyway, you’re probably wondering why I posted that picture when there was a whole slideshow of mostly spank-bankable babes being mistreated by cops. (By the way, Istanbul? Shit. That chick’s balls are bigger than mine.) No, but seriously, why is the Seventh Duke of Uke crazy about this particular too-skinny foreign slut? Here’s why:
Femen activist Oksana Shachko is a professional icon painter and lives in a run-down studio apartment in Kiev with greenish mold on the ceiling.
Wow, a professional icon painter! That’s so cool! No, really, what is that? Because if you have mold on your ceiling I sense we could really get along. My place has dust and spiders, baby…you like spiders? Yeah? Speak English?
ima go all serif on yo ass
Is there any such thing as a Dental Enema? Because if there is, I’ll take half a dozen. It beats learning CSS, that’s for sure. I swore I would never learn CSS, and look at me now, man:
Check out that dork-ass watch. What a dweeb.
It took me like six tries to get that picture to load the way I want it. It was all sideways and shit. Thankfully, after a hard day of coding, I can relax in the hot tub with a couple of chicks:
You can tell he's a pimp because of the hat.
